Schoolyard Heroes, Abominations

It’s kind of hard to take Schoolyard Heroes seriously. They want to be scary; they want to be “horror” music, but I think they’re missing their mark. They’re more like, say, Scream than The Devil’s Rejects, which they’d rather be. Maybe it’s just the female vocals…

This is not to say that Abominations is a bad record at all. Quite the opposite — I found myself repeating tracks and being blown away by the tight guitar riffs and vocalist Ryann Donnelly’s nearly terrifying vocals. I’ve never been one for metal, but the Heroes do it in such a fun way that I don’t care if it’s metal. It’s more like cartoon metal, like Mindless Self Indulgence and GWAR. They do appreciate their metal roots, for certain.

They burn “Children of the Night” down like that one witch’s house in Tulsa, Oklahoma, when I was a kid. It’s the best track, by far. Then they slow it down for “The Last Man On Earth,” and it’s cool as shit but it doesn’t last. Opening track “Dude, Where’s My Skin” nicely sets the album off when Donnelly sings, “Take off your skin and dance for me / Cut out your tongue and sing for me.” She’s great at changing the tempo of her aforementioned vocals. I bet this is a great live band; she probably spits in the audience a lot.

Donnelly has a sweet heart, but it’s writhing with worms and crusted razorblades. Every song blisters along to the next one as she screams about cutting flesh open and being the devil and getting her revenge. I feel really bad for whoever caused this mess. Maybe not though — he’s probably already dead, much like my ear drums.